Sometimes during this fast-paced life, we need to take some time for ourselves.
Time to spend focusing on strictly yourself, what makes you happy, what are your goals, what are the steps to accomplish these goals, what am I aiming for to live my best life.?
It can be so easy to get caught up in everyday life and forget these things or find it hard to see clearly.
To me, this feels as if you were on a speeding train going so fast you only see a glimpse of the scenery.
My understanding of life is not that, is not to see the glimpse of scenery but more so to see the glimpse of the train and to be apart of the scenery enjoying your surroundings.
It is so easy to get tangled up in thoughts and can feel almost impossible to see a finished product.
Every possible task you take on becomes overwhelming and you start to doubt yourself that you could ever accomplish anything. Your mind starts to travel down a dirty dusty road stirring up all these old memories, old thoughts, feelings making it seem like those situations need to be dealt with at the moment in time. You can’t think clear you feel congested inside and that everything is coming down on you and you will not succeed. You’re a failure and you will never have the life you dream
Welcome to anxiety followed by depression.
You may have read my past post about anxiety, and if not you can find it here.
I thrive to continuously bring awareness about this topic. I have lived with it my whole life, I have been on prescription drugs and I have found more natural remedies to help me, but regardless attacks will always happen. I am not crazy, I am just going through something at the moment, just like each and every one of you.
About a month ago I had booked my photographer for a beautiful sunny Friday, we were aiming to do a fun summer shoot but something had come up and we had to postpone.
We postponed until the following Friday, which ended up being the only rainy day of the week.
I woke up with anxiety right off the bat, this can happen based on something I simply dream about I simply wake up, with my heart beating out of my chest a pressure against my chest making it hard to breathe and a sudden worry resting on my shoulders.
That morning I started to sink into a bit of a depression by thinking I had to figure everything out, it was overwhelming and unrealistic that I was going to solve everything but I did not see any hope at that time. All I wanted to do was crawl right back into bed and sleep the day away.
I messaged my photographer telling her how I felt and there was no possible way I could get up, get dressed, look good and show up. First of all, it’s raining, so how can I accomplish the look I am aiming for?
She was understanding but said hey, let’s just try it out if your not happy we can reshoot but I think it would be good for you to come out.
I went back and forth in my mind, how could I possibly get myself looking presentable after an hour of solid crying?
I told myself, you have an obligation, you have a task to complete and girl, this is a relationship you want in your life so don’t give up now, just get up, you can do this.
After a little pep talk, I had a nice warm shower (there’s something about the warmth that just soothes the pains away for)
I continued to get ready, get dressed and get going.
Still a little unhappy with the weather .. but am I really going to sit here and cry over something I honestly have NO control over.
It was time to EMBRACE the day.
Take it as it comes-realize you honestly can’t control everything in your life and sometimes you just have to ride the wave.
I was scared to see the photos as again, they were not what I had a vision for at all.
But I had to let that go in the words of the rolling stones “ you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need “
And that’s exactly what these photos came back to be.
What I needed.
They expressed every emotion I was feeling that day, even though they were not my sunny shots I had in mind, I let that go, I realized the photos we were taking would not go towards what I wanted, but instead came to realize, how I could use these to enhance what I thrive to work towards, and that is simply showing that a REAL life through my social media platforms and not follow the paths of everyone else showing you a made up always happy life.
At the end of the day its ok to feel alone, scared, overwhelmed …etc.
It’s ok … your human, all I ask is that you do what’s right for you, talk to someone, ask for help, exercise, whatever works for you… From experience keeping negative thoughts bottled up will destroy you and only set you back.
Changing your mindset is easier said than done and trust me I honestly use to be a negative nancy – how am I going to just change how I think and see things?
One step at a time.
One positive thought a day, you will start to catch yourself and over time start changing your mindset, and the things that drove you crazy a month ago, no longer affect you…
Because you know what, you are not a failure, you are not alone, you CAN succeed and you are worth it.
How do you know when it’s time to take a break?
When you completely just want to give up everything you worked so hard for.
When you completely give up faith in yourself.
When you feel completely restless.
When you feel a simple task is overwhelming.
These are just a few main alerts, your body will always tell you when it needs a rest.
Even the most beautiful people in the world, who are celebrities and what we think has or had everything in the world people like, Kate Spade, Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, Demi Lovato, Brittany Furlan, Chrissy Teigen, Dwayne Johnson, and more.
Life is like running a marathon, we must take the rest stops to refuel and refresh.
And that is exactly what I am doing.
Reevaluating my life goals and taking on a few new things in life to accomplish these goals.
Inspired and excited for what’s to come!
I am taking off for the weekend for some much-needed rejuvenating.
We are going up to the Shambhala music festival in Salmo river close to Nelson where I hold close to my heart. A weekend filled with loved ones, dancing, camping and all around fun.
Photos By: Maya McMartin